Lilith

by Mary Of Egypt

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02:46
3.
03:13
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04:36
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03:52
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02:50
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03:05
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01:57
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02:49
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02:20
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04:33
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03:06
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02:43

credits

released June 15, 2013

Isabel Hagen - viola
Julia - piano, vocals, synths, percussion, recorder, guitar
Brianna Leary - violin
Sam Reich - percussion, synths, sequencing
Amos Rosenstein - guitar
Cat Slowik - cello
Andrew Smiley - guitar
Meghan Todt - violin

Lyrics adapted or from:
Aeschylus
Parvati Mani
Lorine Niedecker
Arthur Rimbaud
Edgar Allen Poe
Leo Tolstoy
Virginia Woolf

All Music and lyrics by Julia EXCEPT:
(above lyric credits)
Sam Reich - percussion/synths Track 7
Amos Rosenstein - guitar Track 13
Andrew Smiley - guitar Track 14

Cover art by Kip Deeds

Recorded, Mixed, Produced by hand in NJ and NYC 2013

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Mary Of Egypt Flemington, New Jersey

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Track Name: Vronsky's Tango
BY PARU MANI
(-adapted by Julia)

Yes, it's been a year since writing poems
Guess somehow the words got stuck so far down your throat
you couldn't even taste them.

Yet, somehow you knew that they were there,
gasping under all that's thick:
your food, your fear,
your promises all too clear.

Everything's changed, and nothing at all
everything's feigned in your crystal ball
everything's changed and nothing at all
everything's maimed in my crystal ball
(save the bottle for tomorrow)

Hablare Contigo:
you dream in the future tense.
You're thinking in Spanish
But where was your French?

Let the words come out, to make them breathe
(inhale)
give some of the word your tar-charred lungs -
your thighs have grown thick as trees
(brown, brown)
Now your leaves will fall to
crunch and tear,
(paint brush)
only dirty brown for after all,
you never had courage
to turn gold for the fall.

Your mouth's too dry for words
Your eyes too try for tears
Speak with the small world between your legs
(the only sign you were alive)

He wanted to keep you
but just as a passing memory.
A season, a country
a language he knew you understood.
Track Name: Lilith
Why do the people talk so loud?
Imposing on my wicked shroud?
So gluttonous, hyena round -
I'm staying in but peering out

from the doorway of my house.

San Vi Sansanvi Wildebeast
objects to lying underneath.
And Gilgemesh's progeny
invades my dreams:
something's dripping from my mouth -
what's that sticking in my maw?
Something warm and sticky!

Her gates are gates of death
and from the entrance of the house
she sets out.
And none who enter there
will ever return home.
And all who possess her
descend to the pit.

Am I a megalomaniac
'cause my hut's got claws and
Alavici's father won't go lying on his back -
no match for my dentata
I could pluck out your eyes 'cause I'm carrying a scythe -
though you're toiling the field at midday.
And you sweat
'cause it's hot
test your luck
but one wrong answer and you're gone!

So read my runic rage!
For I am dancing until dawn!
And suffer my embrace:
A night hag who steals the children
I visit in their sleep
and make them think it's their own will
and my heraldic hear is formed of mud and filth.

I've sent my owls alight
and they always heed my advice.
For I was made from earth -
and was I made first?
Consult your Genesis
and keep a lock upon your spouse!

At the doorway of your house
From the doorway of your house
I am creeping like a mouse
to the doorway of your house!
Track Name: Briscoe
Ask him what it was,
he's so close.
But I fear I turn to Briscoe.
I can draw a line upon my canvas
hovering the brush
above a vision:

we could make it 'oer the wall together.
with steady hands,
and a foothold in the how and where we came from:

(with pockets full of stones
and weedy undergrowth.
He loved her;
he must know with full authority!)

Cliche as Philip Glass:
I'll mar my own landscape.
I'll make my own escape!
(like film music,
baby)

Could it be a very pleasant journey
if it wasn't known that I'm already there:
living in the lighthouse oh my darling?
Signaling the ships to stay away!

Were you reared upon the rainy heather?

(or rocky shores of home?
by Oedipus on his throne?)
I'll make my way alone
but wait for balmy weather!

Who is the woman around your little town?
She doesn't want her photograph taken out loud.

Very difficult and heavy tasking:
putting on the mask of my time passing on.
He was asked to speak at your convention
'cause they need a spokesperson --
OOPS ---
spokesman!

For her health: hysteria needs guidance!
Strong arms:
the only way to soothe a breakdown!
They know better!

They don't double their parallels
or draw the water from their own wells!
So she died like Ophelia:
with only men her story to tell.

Pity she wasn't young.
Track Name: Cassandra
Don't lift an eyebrow -
he's a wicked act to follow.
With bone and marrow:
all I offer thee, Apollo!
All I own!

Why do I wear these mockeries upon my body?
Sweet roses and this staff of prophesy.
(out, down, down)

(PEACE PEACE poor woman,
put those bitter lips to sleep!
What man is it who moves this beastly thing to be?)

My moment was extraordinary!
(did you possess it?)
I was there motionless! I see!
(you see fantasy!)

King of the ships:
(with their airs of vanity)
what can he know of this?

Apollo!
King of light!
Aye me, the pain!
What shall I call her?
What beast of loathing?
Viper double fanged
Scylla of the Rocks-
the bane!
How she stood aloud and howled!
Forever unashamed!

The lesser Ajax has pressed on my back my trust I had woven into flax.
What does it matter now;
if men believe it so?
What is to come will come.

(PEACE PEACE poor woman!
May it somehow fail to come)

In lieu of yielding I will choose these auguries.
For what can woman make but treachery?

This is the lioness who goes to bed with the wolf
when her pride goes away
either way.

No motion forward;
no prey where I start from.
Track Name: Penting
Where is the dawn?
I'm outa cigarettes and it's still dark.
So judge me:
if you've ever had an enemy
you'll understand, my dear.

(it isn't safe to go outside!)

Hold up your hand -
curling the two smallest fingers before your eyes.
But run first
(run away!)
run first -
I am a deviant,
a crawling silverfish
a gnawing scavenger
a trembling cretin!

(yeah, is it enough?
isn't enough?)

All I want is just to be good!

(meet the monster in daylight)

Drink up, drink up!
I cannot promise much more from the wells where this comes from.
If you love me
you'll let me be!
(don't look at me!)
I'm a daydreamer because my conscience is guilty.

(have you had enough?
Can I make it rough?
If you're so f*cking tough,
can I draw your blood?)

I was weak!
I kept myself so weak and small!
I saw his face change -
(DON'T LOOK AT ME!)
cause he knew I was asking for it.

And I made eyes
we locked eyes
my sunken eyes in my shrunken skull.
I was small
I looked so frail in my winter coat!

(nobody called the police!)

I didn't scream
I didn't make a peep at all!

That girl is easy.
She made it so f*cking easy.
Track Name: Geror's Aria
It was me, it was me
who carved upon the tree
a celestial bid to stay.

He's a theif, he's a theif -
they let him get away
through the woods at the break of day.

So, hang your weary head low,
looking at this headstone.
In the hollow -
this is what you made.
I'll play what I hate.

(no discourse
no recourse.
Only giving out)

My master,
he knows I'll take it lying down.

Ancient treachery -
threatens, then pretends that we get a say!

Was it me who wove this bed of leaves?
Like the leash that he leads is to ply his trade!

Now the lease is up in a semblance of a tirade
with the wallowing little waterways:
will you play this game?
Make your trophy lame?

I'm willing.
(he's won it)
Track Name: Pink Hearts
Waited for six hours to rid myself
Then plus sixteenhundred more -
resume what I abhor!

(and they warned you.
Don't say that they didn't warn you right before)

Patience is a virtue, so they say.
She looked deep into my eyes,
told me "it's the right way".

But he was on his phone!
(ally, ally!)
Isolate me on the throne, alright.

I coulda kept you round.

I won't lie that it didn't hurt -
'cause the hearts on the wall,
they were full of words.
And their faulty logic
made me feel absurd.

Standing at my kitchen sink
explaining that you're just a symbol -
no larger than a thimble!
cellular!

No philosophy for the Woman's World -
though they took the terms for
the Spirit and Phenomenon!
Try to prove the pull -
try to prove it!
And the downward tongue.
Down you went,
but I could have kept you round.
Anahita's mound.
Never rash,
but I harshly decide
and in the night I hold the knife.

Is it cliche
if I give you a name?
I took away?
I wanted to walk out
and they laugh and pout
but I wanted to walk out.

I could have kept you round,
You were Kind, you mastadon.
never hurts to admit you're wrong.
Track Name: Ophelia
On the cold black water
Where the stars are standing
Floats the greatest loathing:
in the far off woods, the mort is sounding.

'Oer a thousand years no whiter phantom
murmuring his ballad
to the women of the newer rushes

Beautiful as snow upon the river!
Descending!
From the highest mountains
speaking of greater freedom.
Twisted your hair.

'Twas the voice of mad sea's resounding roar!
'Twas a handsome madman!
'Twas a pale-eyed April morning
mute at your knees.

You melted to him.
Track Name: Faust Nimmt the Fawn
I turn the page and make a claim:
I'm foaming at the mouth.
I'll fill my head (and empty womb) with reading:
all I'm needing.

If I could make exchanges for the answers that I seek,
to Mephistopheles I'd give my breeding.
Uh oh, I'm bleeding out!

So,
Would you say I've a way to go before I know it all?
My memories will recede before the kingdom comes.

(at least they'll say "she was pretty")

Minerva was a virgin
so my hands shall be filled with rust.
No time to tear your throat out 'tll I'm teething
Uh-oh,
You're bleeding.

I banish you, sleep!
(nobody likes a tattletale!)
Stay away from me!
(Leave me alone!)
You cretin, with your shalalalalaminans!
I will master the means!
I will be master!
I will meet you -
but nobody wants a weathervane -
your sickle rose, your sulpher prose.
I will eat you.
I will be master.

If I am master,
am I the tide,
or am I the beach?
Track Name: Anahita
Don't purify the water.
I provide grapes and peaches
for mein Schatzie -
Azizam -
forget to mend my boots!

Nothing in it but my hand.
No erected temple.

No shields are built for battle
like his armor for love!
Though I've been primed for fighting
get tired of being tough!
And I've had enough!

In the turmoil raise my banner high
exit through a golden channel.
Though my daugher-peaks are lofty,
none shall make it through.
I confess,
ten thousand men,
and I think of you.

you!
you!
Codify your cowardice in "terms"
though you fill my fishing kit with worms.
Worms!
how I wriggle at the words.

To think that I could love him.
Track Name: Avatar
They ask what I'm doing with my life in a CV form.
So how to expose established norms in established forms?

A socialist realism isn't quite what I'm going for,
so I didn't resolve my leading tones in what came before!

Wave your flashlight around -
the world will not be astounded though it's astounding -
you're compounding the problem!

(or, elitism,
or classism
or sexism -
at the very least, it takes a LOT OF MONEY)

yes, I have been highly trained, I know
I scrape by, and rely on my credentials.
The general public couldn't care less about Beethoven's potential.

F U F U institutions!
Solely intellectual
(male sexual)
no urgency is useless!

I have to give credit where the credit's due:
this elitism just plainly sucks.
'Cause everyone that I know is so tired of being treated like an idiot.

DUH!

Music's from the heart!
So what's the point of my ridiculous Avatar?
Track Name: Samael
if I believed in power play
I wouldn't give my game away.
Both doppelganger and a stray
I'll wipe my face.

(so patronize me.
the scent is sweet)

For what I want, I do not want
and all I need is all I eat.
I am the patron of the thieves;
I'll guard your house from all of me.

(nothing grows in my garden!
All he wants is my garden!)

The hill is steep.........

I'll swing my arrows
so tinged with fire
and my desire
throw on the pyre.

Don't try my trust with trysts and tales:
my golem, he is made of clay.
I saw him by the light of day
with talons that would tear my face.

(lark hill)
(no tripping down)

So my twelve steps as sponsors say
will lead me through this wicked place.
Who needs your bullshit anyway?
I'll paint my face-
they love my face!

(I will grow my own garden!)

Seduce, destroyer, and pour your molten.
My moat is open
my door was open.

No benefit, you derelict
you Benedict
or Bede
or Styx

I am a warrior of wits
and wade to places safe to wish.
Track Name: Asmodeous
"ich habe keine Zeit"
you say
so why sehr süß
and bowstringed?

Draw back your hand and let me go away!
Sehr Langsam, mein Schöne Freund!
La Porte est Ferme.

My crumbs are tertiary now....
here's a capital B.

Tremble for me!
My revengeful recipe is gambling!

Sea poppy, staring at the ceiling.
Your private thanksgiving!

Cowards don't toil ceaselessly without their pay
or learn to rely on oils that fill and break their lamps!

If my rusty roof is made of clear transparent glass,
then
ich muste früh mich absondern.

I'll cry because she says it's wasted, that is all.
Legions of old Asmodeous
they left my lonely desert long ago.
Track Name: Anabel Lee
A Dream

In visions of the dark night
I have dreamed of joy departed-
But a waking dream of life [LOVE] and light
Hath left me broken-hearted.

Ah! what is not a dream by day
To him whose eyes are cast
On things around him with a ray
Turned back upon the past?

That holy dream- that holy dream,
While all the world were chiding,
Hath cheered me as a lovely beam
A lonely spirit guiding.

What though that light, thro' storm and night,
So trembled from afar-
What could there be more purely bright
In Truth's day-star?
Edgar Allan Poe